*You Blind MY HEART*

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-People shouldn't dwell on the past. It's enough to try your best in all that you're doing now.

Diary

2007年5月31日星期四

fucking lies. those bullshit-talks.

for a second, my heart went soft again, for a min, i believed in your words again. damn it. how can i be so stupid AGAIN? wow. since you like those girls who act like prostitutes/those girls who are so so imature in their thinking. then you go ahead. for every lil thing you do, i know your motive ok. 3 years isn't just for fun. love me? need me alot? hahahahaha. talk is cheap.

to think i was starting/trying to believe you as a fren, like what we agreed, we're still normal frens. but then, even as a fren, you also wanna lie to me? wtf is this? nvm. im not going to say much. u remember all those things that you did to me, all those unfair treatment from you. i'll remember it till the day i die. who's the one that has got SOMETHING to hide? fuck it.

you'll regret.

i'll find a better man, whom will not treat me like that way you did! goodbye! i'll never see you ever again. we'll never cross each other's path ANYMORE.

damn it, all those fucking shit happens to me.

TALK IS CHEAP.

`written on- 09:41

2007年5月29日星期二

why am i crying like a stupid fool? i swear i tried to stop the tears. but i guess i didn't manage to..

im so lost... where am i heading? can i really smile from my heart everyday? instead of faking a smile? yeah, like what those friends around me kept saying, '' aiya, you got so many choices, so many guys!still so sad for what?''

wait a minute, is this called true love? i want a love that belongs to me, a love that is what i had always wanted, a love that i derserve. Or even if i dont get the love i deserve, at least spare me from all those hurts? everything that i do, seems not right. for every lil thing that i gave, i got nothing but hurt in return. why?!

nobody knows how im feeling deep inside my heart.

yes, thanks for those who cared, those who called and text me everyday, without fail. those who at least bothered to give me promises that they'll love me with all their hearts. but i guess i cannot bring myself to love wholeheartedly again. i need time to heal the pain deep inside me. by then, i'll be your perfect girl. i hope so.

been so long since i cried in the rain.

im just like any other ordinary girl. why choose to hurt me when im at my most vulnerable stage.

i betray my feelings, just to give you what you want.

i wanna feel the stars so close to me again........

`written on- 13:50

2007年5月28日星期一

back.

the night is still so young, and here i am. reaching home so early, for the first time!

i wanna get a pink tamagochi! anybody know where got? i wan nice nice wan ok!?

text me if you guys got any idea ok? :)

shall i get a gucci bag? or both a agnes.B bag and bracelet? or go bangkok with precious? (PENDING)

my heart's getting colder and colder day by day. the hurt i've gotten. is really too much for me to take. when can i ever find a guy, whom will really love me, only me.....

spare me a shoulder to cry on please.....

the world's not at all beautiful.....

dadada. :( i wan pink tamagochi!

`written on- 10:13

2007年5月27日星期日

changing to become a better person! :)

without sleep the day before,i know i look weird. elise & me! :)

at the pub with eliz, francis, han ting & jacky + 2 of eliz frens.

went to tampines rover pub ytd to drink.

then han ting came to fetch me, then to bedok to pick francis and elise.

decided to go boat quay, pub again.

left at about 5 plus, went to ''eat wind'' then back home. TIRED.

Integra is so so georgeous! PIE, ask your mum buy for you leh!? or ask him to buy la. LOL.

back from finishing the balance left ytd. im super tired. but i just dont feel like sleeping. its such a waste of time to sleep. anyway, my mood was alreaday not very good today, plus apon seeing those people whom i dont wish to see makes me even irritated. fcuk it.

he's offically out of my life, all those lies. enough of them all. the hurt that both of you gave me, was never spoken. nobody knows. what did i ever do? to deserve this kind of treatment?

EX-boyfriend + EX-best friend= out of my life.

dont ever wanna see either one of you.

im not going to spoil my mood because of this 2 people.

off-days till thurs. have to go all the way to causeway point to work full shift till sat. then i'll be

back to J8 :)

did my nails just now with my precious. we always have alot to talk about. those bitching sessions, those heart to heart talks. those good night talks before we end the night. how great!

i wanna get that agnes.B bracelet! or maybe that agnes.B bag? i wanna go genting or abroad. before my school reopens.

im going to live my life to the fullest!

every lil thing changes everything.

`written on- 13:32

2007年5月25日星期五

stupid scar on my leg. ARGHHH. and precious is more worried than i'm! haha.

been so long since i feel the stars so near to me. been so long since i saw so many stars.

off day from tmr till tues. working at causeway point next week. bored!

i wanna star gaze again .......... i miss ...............

very long since i touch chivas. guess i'll join my pri sch frens tmr.

when will i get the love i deserve and desire?

`written on- 13:29

2007年5月22日星期二

precious went to work, and here i am, in her room using her lappy.

bored. have to go to work at 6pm again.

should be heading down to MOS after work. why?

1. bored.

2. bored.

3. bored.

and still, BORED!

met ah di for dinner/supper ytd after work. KFC :) my fav.

then went to look for Xiang, Jianhe and Zhenyuan. send us home. took my clothings for today and then cabbed down to precious house.

no more heaty food for me. :(

to all my frens: dont need to come find me at my work for now ok? cos im having training now, and so there will be another woman there with me, and thus i cant talk much with you all. wait till next week you all can start coming, cos by then it will be me working alone ! :) HEE. anyway, thanks for those who came and actually wanted to come! love all of you.

shall i go out and have my lunch?

Tiffany& Co. bracelet or Agnes. B bracelet ?

`written on- 22:57

2007年5月19日星期六

finally, a chance to blog.

yeah. i will stop NUA-ING from monday onwards. working at j8. :)

my mind's in a mess.

*a guy whom will only love me, just me.

`written on- 14:21

2007年5月9日星期三

the feeling of knocking off from work feels so good!

zouk later on, but i got a feeling that i would not be able to enjoy. somebody, in fact 2 person quarrelled with me for those stupid reasons, and that explains my lousy mood right now. fcuk it.

i thought i was supposed to have lived happier than before?

to my dearest YA JIE <3

i teared when i saw the friendster message ''ya jie'' (yueh lee) send me. HAI. i miss you too ya jie! im so glad that you are living happily with my jie fu! and i feel so happy for you, that you are now leading the XING FU life that we once promised to have. And yeah, like what you said, although we seldom contact, but your well being has never leaved my mind, and my heart's always with you. :) so i hope that you lived doubly happy ok! cos' i can't be happy now, so i hope i can pass you my ''happiness'' , so that you will never be alone, never cry, but smile XING FU-ly ok! i hope to pass every of my friends my happiness........ i wish for them to be able to smile everyday..... since i can't do so....

why is my life so messed up? why is it that whatever things i do, they all seem to be wrong? they all seem to have caused some unhappiness to someone out there? i really never ever thought of hurting anyone. why must people think of me in that way? when things are beyond my control? when i'm not the one whom can control every single thing! how i wish i could!

who will ever think of the unhappiness i went through? even my best friends leave me one by one.

alright. nobody will understand anyway. forget it.

take away my happiness, since they dont even belong to me.

its just those emotions, taking me over.

i'm just a simpe girl, why can't i get the love i deserve?

maybe i should go get a plastic surgery? and get myself done like dawn yeoh,ayumi, or hebe? PATHETIC .

`written on- 03:49

2007年5月6日星期日

i've got my freedom. but i guess i hurt him. i'm sorry if i hurt you.

i don't think i need a boyfriend now.

work starts tmr. i hope this telemarketing job is not as tough as the one i had last time round.

i wanna club! Zouk? MOS? Anyone?

my.sweet.escape

`written on- 03:48

2007年5月1日星期二

stupid fever, headache, flu and cough is killing me!

i can only lie on bed and do nothing....... pls dont ask me to sleep. i slept for 16 hours already!

hai~ someone save me.....................................

`written on- 01:30

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Past entries

四月 2007
五月 2007
六月 2007